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Half-life

23 Mar

I am often telling Michele that “today is another one of MY DAYS“. An anniversary that only I remember – the days I found a lump, the days I was diagnosed, the days of my surgeries, the days that I found out that the cancer that had invaded me was gone, the days that the treatments ended.

Today is another one of those days.

First and foremost, it is my birthday, so it is a day that I share with my mom and dad, my family, and my friends. But this one, I have been thinking about for a while.

I was diagnosed with Type 2A Hodgkins Lymphoma when I was 22 years old. I have now celebrated 22 birthdays since that DAY. So half of the birthdays of my life.  One of the images that I comes to mind is of a young girl, maybe 8 or 9, who I would sit in the radiation oncology waiting room with way back in 1996. I don’t remember speaking with her. I remember her and her mom vividly. But I’ve been thinking that her half-life day would would been as a teenager. I hope that she made it to see that birthday and many more.

 

Also on our mind these days is a dear family friend and her kids. All signs so far are good that she will see many more birthdays – her own, and those of her girls.

And sadly on my mind as well today are two families that have recently lost a dear family member from this disease after long, challenging battles. May the remainder of their days be filled with good memories of their loved ones, rather than the harsh realities of their lives with cancer.

I will undoubtedly be serenaded with “Happy Birthday” a number of times today. I am thankful to be around to hear those lyrics.  Twice in my life, my birthday was shrouded by the specter of cancer.  Then, thanks to all the research, clinical trials, and bravery of the cancer patients who came before me, I received life-saving treatment. I will never forget those birthdays as the uncertainty and fear that filled those days have motivated me to this day.

Today, I encourage you to think about the people in your life – do you know someone who is going through cancer treatment?  Do you know a survivor? Do you know the pain and struggle of a cancer diagnosis and treatment firsthand?

There are many rides, runs, walks, and charity events raising money to fight cancer as well as innumerable other diseases. The Pan-Mass Challenge, which I will again ride in August, is raising money so that cancer will be cured. 100% of your donation will go directly to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute’s unrestricted funding. In this day and age where research funding is under attack, these funds are crucial. You can learn more about how the Dana-Farber uses these funds here.  I hope that in honor of my birthday and in honor and memory of those that you know that have battled cancer, you will make a donation today. It will save lives. It will move us one day closer to the end of cancer.

Thank you!

Donate here: http://www2.pmc.org/profile/AS0171

livingproofsticker

Thank You!

1 Jan

13902807_10154444952459511_6091068958305581289_n2016 has been a big year.

As you know, in August, Andy rode in his 10th PMC. It has now been 20 years since he was originally diagnosed and 5 years since his recurrence.

Our Forza-G team of 60 cyclists raised $530,000 and the whole event raised A RECORD $47 million for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

We are truly closer to the end of cancer because each and every donation made. We are humbled by your steadfast support.

From our family to yours,

THANK YOU!2016pmc_bourne_fam

September 27 – my 5th #chemoisdone cancer-versery

27 Sep

Nearly all of us have these dates that are burned into our memory banks. The obvious ones are the days that we got married or the days our kids were born. Other days stick because of their historic significance. Some of these days are sad, as we mark the loss of a loved one. It is on these days when we often are perhaps our most contemplative and reflective. We try to understand where we have been and were we are going, and perhaps, if we are lucky, we can understand the path that we have followed.

Treatment 12

September 27, 2011 – Final chemo treatment. Living Proof again!

Today is one of these days for me. As I have mentioned in this space many times before…. the picture below shows me as I am getting ready to receive my 12th and final chemo treatment five years ago today. I have friends who celebrate their birthday today and know of a few couples who celebrate their anniversaries. But today, this day will always be one of reflection, mixed with happiness and remorse. As we move into this new era of not being actively monitored, obviously there is a joy of survival. But the memories of those who have passed from cancer, the images of the children that I saw each week while getting radiation 20 years ago, the conversations I had with fellow patients who were parents and grandparents – those are etched in my mind as well, a ongoing reminder that my mission to beat cancer did not end on this day five years ago, but that it had only just begun.

This year, as I have been sharing my 20th and 5th year anniversaries of my cancer treatments, I have received tremendous support, both emotionally and in terms of donations made to my PMC ride. Donors to my ride have been more generous than ever, contributing over $9,000 to the PMC and Dana Farber this year. And the PMC team that I am so proud to be on has also received unprecedented support this year, as we have already surpassed our team goal and eclipsed $500,000 in total donations brought in. But this PMC event, for me, is more than the money. There is a passion, a commitment, that is common among the PMC ridership that I cherish – we are all motivated to see the day when cancer is no longer the formidable foe that it has been for all of human existence. I share a bond with an even more select group of the ridership who have experienced cancer first hand and, this year, have had more interesting conversations with my fellow Living Proof riders than ever before. It is our shared desire and commitment towards this goal that pushes me onward.

There were days this summer, in the midst of training for the PMC, when I was questioning whether or not my tenth would be my last. Or if I should at least take a break. But then to be around the riders, the Living Proof, and my teammates for an entire weekend – those thoughts quickly were swept away, knowing that our work is not yet done. That work that I committed to be a part of when I left the oncology ward five years ago today – to end cancer in our lifetime. My part is small, to provide some motivation and inspiration to fund the research for the cures. But it is my part, my mission, my passion, my commitment.

I will end this ramble by sharing a quote I took from a speaker at a conference that has been guiding my vision for my #lifewithcancer moving forward – excited to see what comes of it:

“Do not spend you life trying to prove yourself. Spend your life trying to improve yourself”

Team Milestone Reached

23 Sep

Yesterday, Team Forza-G reached a milestone – $500,000 raised this year for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Pan Mass Challenge. Very proud of this achievement by our team of 62 riders. Thanks to all of you who have donated to my ride this year!

Another Anniversary – this time #20

24 Jul

Today is the 20th anniversary of my first last round of cancer treatment. For those reading who are confused by that last sentence, on July 24, 1996, I received my final radiation treatment as part of my treatment against Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I was cancer free until the Spring on 2011, when I found a lump and started chemo. So today is the anniversary of the first time I had my last cancer treatment.

usna_072316

Yesterday, in 90+ degree heat, teammate Mark (at right) and our friend Bill (center) took a break on our 50 mile ride in Annapolis.

Yesterday, I got out for my first 50-mile ride since the spring, due to all the ailments I mentioned in recent posts. Today, Mark and I backed it up with another 55 miles. We got toughened up by some mechanical issues. My 10th PMC is merely two weeks away, I haven’t always loved my time on the bike. Only in the last few years, since my recurrence, have I truly fallen in love with cycling, finding the time on my bike to be a glorious place to think about my situation, my life, the world around us, and to think about the far to many people that I know who are battling cancer or have recently succumbed. I keep looking for more motivation to help inspire me in my fundraising efforts. What I realized today, especially after coming back after today’s ride to learn of the passing of a teammate’s friend, is that I can’t be more motivated or passionate. I, like so many, live and breathe the cause of defeating cancer as quickly as possible. Every day that passes, more lives are lost or changed.

All of this reminds me of what lays ahead of me in two weekends. I will ride my bike 200 miles across Massachusetts and complete my 10th Pan-Mass Challenge.

I ride the PMC for many reasons. I recently blogged about many of them here. I ride for my fellow survivors and our loved ones who have been taken from us to soon. I ride to inspire a belief that cancer can be overcome because of ground-breaking research and to help raise the funds to make that dream a reality.

I ride the PMC for birthdays and anniversaries. I think about all of the birthdays that I have had that without that radiation treatment back in 1996 that I would have missed. And, as every cancer survivor knows, there are lot of anniversaries – the day you were diagnosed, the day you started treatment, the day you finished. And hopefully, the day you found out you were cancer-free.

I write a lot on my birthdays and these anniversaries. I am reminded every day that I am a cancer survivor, but on these days, for some reason it takes on a different meaning. I have not been shy about  celebrating my 20th year of beating cancer the first time, my 10th Pan Mass Challenge ride, and my 5th year cancer-free since round 2 in 2011. I am proud to be Living Proof that all the research that this ride and many other worthy events has funded and I share all of these things with the world with the hope that the momentum we have in defeating this disease will continue until the job is done.

Since I started this post, odds are, someone was told that they had cancer. I know that they are probably very afraid and scared of what is to come. We all have the opportunity to create cures for cancers. I got one. Then I got another one. Not everyone does. Please give the gift of life today by contributing and sponsoring research and treatment at the ground-breaking Dana-Farber Cancer Institute! Click here to donate.

Thank you for making a difference.

 

Sharing My Thoughts From National Cancer Survivors Day

8 Jun

Last Sunday was National Cancer Survivor Day. Every year, this day has become a day of reflection on what cancer has given me. Here is a list of all the special things and people that swirled in my mind this year. They are in no particular order.

  • 20 years of living with cancer
  • 2 specific days of devastation
  • many many days of uncertainty
  • at least 4 biopsies
  • 1 major surgery
  • 1 less organ (spleen)
  • 2 days of morphine induced haze after that sugery
  • 1 permanently damaged thyroid gland
  • 2 bone marrow biopsies that I would not wish upon anyone
  • 46 radiation treatments
  • 12 chemo treatments
  • over 40 CT scans
  • at least 8 PET scans
  • all the nurses and technicians and doctors and hospital staffers I have met in Rochester and Baltimore
  • months upon months of painfully slow recovery
  • weeks of wondering if chemo-brain was ever going to end
  • all of the family, friends and friends and family of friends who were taken to soon
  • going to the cancer center on my 43rd birthday for a follow-up visit
  • my favorite Harpooner and fellow survivor, Kathy
  • my mom
  • my aunt
  • both of my grandmothers
  • my grandfather
  • my dad
  • missing the PMC in 2011
  • all of the meals that my cycling team and our friends in Baltimore provided for us in 2011
  • the hundreds of cards that we received that summer
  • falling over on my bike trying to go up the Bellona Avenue hill on one of my first rides in 2012
  • finishing my first PMC in 2007
  • riding my bike on PMC Day at Fenway with 29 other survivors to commemorate the PMC’s 30th ride
  • finishing the PMC in 2013
  • being able to up my Pan-Mass Challenge from 2 days and 200 miles to 3 days and 300 miles the last couple of years with some of my teammates
  • how one of my teammates almost took me out last year on that extra day
  • $66,825.14: total amount that my friends, family, and acquaintances have donated in my name since 2007
  • Betsy, Suzanne, Diane, Carie and all of the Living Proof riders and volunteers that I share a toast with each August
  • the family that is going to have a devastating day tomorrow
  • my three friends this year who have started down their own journey with cancer
  • my family who has been through cancer too many times
  • my team, Forza-G
  • my Decker family
  • how I hope beyond hope that our Shannon will live in a world without cancer.
  • wondering if my lymph nodes will ever decide to be boring again
  • the mental and physical release that cycling has come to provide to me
  • everything that Michele and I have been through in the recent years
  • how truly lucky I am…
  • and fortunate…
  • and grateful
  • and COMMITTED.

Final Training Ride for #PMC2015

28 Jul
HAY! My training partner, Forza-G teammate, and friend Mark and I on training ride in Baltimore County (July 2015)

HAY! My training partner, Forza-G teammate, and friend Mark and I on training ride in Baltimore County (July 2015)

This morning, I completed my final training ride for this year’s Pan Mass Challenge. I didn’t take a selfie (this photo was taken last weekend). I just rode and thought about the people who have shared their cancer connection with me. It’s hard to ride with the sun rising in your eyes that are full of tears. Frankly, you do get used to it.

I set some goals at the beginning of the year – to be a more impactful advocate for cancer survivors, to be a better fundraiser for the PMC, to be a more engaged teammate to Team Forza-G, and to train my tail off. If I can do these things as well as my training has gone, I can rest well. I have already ridden more miles this year than any other year and this month, I have ridden more miles than I have in any other month of my life. After 1,331 miles and an estimated 82,000 feet of vertical climbing, I am officially done training and ready for the PMC.

My focus is now on enjoying my 3-day ride across Massachusetts with my 55 Forza-G teammates and our families, the 5,500 plus riders, the 3,000 plus volunteers, with all of the well-wishers along the route, and without a doubt, with my father-in-law Norm, who will be riding in his first PMC this weekend!

Special thanks to my training partner and teammate Mark D’Agostino for sharing many laughs along the roads of Maryland and Pennsylvania with me throughout the winter, spring, and summer.

Now it is my time to ask you. Will you push on with me? What are you willing to donate today to help end cancer and to see an end to the pain, suffering, and sadness that this insipid disease causes?   What if it was the life of a loved one, a friend, or a college roommate? What if it was your child? What if it was you?

Where Does Your Donation Go?

17 Jul

I get asked all the time about ‘where does the money go’ from all you amazing donors. Here is a great graphic that shows how the money went to work at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute last year. This year, the event’s goal is to raise $45 million so that the 36-year total will be raised to a very cool and substantial $500 million. Yup, 1/2 a billion dollars to help cure cancer.

Remember: THE PMC DONATES 100% OF EVERY RIDER-RAISED DOLLAR TO DANA-FARBER CANCER INSTITUTE THROUGH ITS JIMMY FUND. Make your donation today

Pan-Mass Challenge: $41 Million in 2014

The Pan-Mass Challenge (PMC) raises money for Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Jimmy Fund’s lifesaving mission to conquer cancer. In 2014, committed riders, donors, sponsors, and volunteers joined together to contribute $41 million. This chart shows how Dana-Farber uses these funds to bring us closer by the mile.

You can also learn more via the video below which explains “Where The Money Goes” when you donate to my PMC ride. Dana-Farber Cancer Institute President and CEO, Edward Benz Jr., MD, explains the impact of Pan Mass Challenge donations on Dana-Farber’s mission of advancing cancer research and improving patient care. While I have always known that PMC’s support to Dana-Farber is critical to their mission, it is extremely enlightening to hear Dr. Ed Benz highlight specific advances that have been achieved because our collective efforts and contributions.

As you watch this video, I’m sure you will appreciate the importance of the donations you have made. Thank you for your continued support!

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