Half-life

23 Mar

I am often telling Michele that “today is another one of MY DAYS“. An anniversary that only I remember – the days I found a lump, the days I was diagnosed, the days of my surgeries, the days that I found out that the cancer that had invaded me was gone, the days that the treatments ended.

Today is another one of those days.

First and foremost, it is my birthday, so it is a day that I share with my mom and dad, my family, and my friends. But this one, I have been thinking about for a while.

I was diagnosed with Type 2A Hodgkins Lymphoma when I was 22 years old. I have now celebrated 22 birthdays since that DAY. So half of the birthdays of my life.  One of the images that I comes to mind is of a young girl, maybe 8 or 9, who I would sit in the radiation oncology waiting room with way back in 1996. I don’t remember speaking with her. I remember her and her mom vividly. But I’ve been thinking that her half-life day would would been as a teenager. I hope that she made it to see that birthday and many more.

 

Also on our mind these days is a dear family friend and her kids. All signs so far are good that she will see many more birthdays – her own, and those of her girls.

And sadly on my mind as well today are two families that have recently lost a dear family member from this disease after long, challenging battles. May the remainder of their days be filled with good memories of their loved ones, rather than the harsh realities of their lives with cancer.

I will undoubtedly be serenaded with “Happy Birthday” a number of times today. I am thankful to be around to hear those lyrics.  Twice in my life, my birthday was shrouded by the specter of cancer.  Then, thanks to all the research, clinical trials, and bravery of the cancer patients who came before me, I received life-saving treatment. I will never forget those birthdays as the uncertainty and fear that filled those days have motivated me to this day.

Today, I encourage you to think about the people in your life – do you know someone who is going through cancer treatment?  Do you know a survivor? Do you know the pain and struggle of a cancer diagnosis and treatment firsthand?

There are many rides, runs, walks, and charity events raising money to fight cancer as well as innumerable other diseases. The Pan-Mass Challenge, which I will again ride in August, is raising money so that cancer will be cured. 100% of your donation will go directly to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute’s unrestricted funding. In this day and age where research funding is under attack, these funds are crucial. You can learn more about how the Dana-Farber uses these funds here.  I hope that in honor of my birthday and in honor and memory of those that you know that have battled cancer, you will make a donation today. It will save lives. It will move us one day closer to the end of cancer.

Thank you!

Donate here: http://www2.pmc.org/profile/AS0171

livingproofsticker

Thoughts on World Cancer Day

4 Feb

It has been a while since I shared in this space. Our world has become very agitated, on all levels and much of my daily bandwidth has been internally focused on family, friends, and our country. This week, my attention has been re-centered on my own personal activism, ending cancer in my lifetime.  Then I wake up this morning, reminded of this cause, by World Cancer Day.

But first, a call-to-action. Or maybe better said, a call-to-activism.

What I strongly believe is that the world is a better place when we are inspired by a cause to make it better. We may differ in what the cause is… doesn’t matter.  What if each of us could have the passion and commitment to rally for a group of people in need or the betterment of our civilization, and if we could attempt to leave our planet in a better place when we leave than when we were born, and if we could take the baton from the generation before and give it to the next knowing that we made a difference, then we could really get some amazing things accomplished. Being an advocate and an activist is more than just writing a check. That is called being a donor or supporter – which are still important roles. But without the activist, there are no donors. Without the activist, there are no causes. Without the activist, our culture and society will not move forward.  I ask you, what is your cause?  Find one. Develop your voice. Inspire me to support you. Become an activist!

And now back to my cause….

This week, I crossed paths with our cancer enemy in many ways.

  • Sunday: We delivered a meal to a family that is battling breast cancer. It gave us a chance to check in and see what else we can do to help. And to listen.
  • Monday and Tuesday: I kicked my PMC training for 2017 into high gear with some long training sessions. As I spin, I think about all those I have been riding for and about my fellow Living Proof riders.
  • Thursday: We learned that a family friend passed away after a long battle. Devastating news for all of us.
  • Friday: I got two bits of good news – a dear friend celebrated her sixth cancer-versary (aka 6th year from her diagnosis) and a Forza-G teammate learned that she has now 36 months cancer free.

And now today, it is World Cancer Day. Maybe you knew that. You probably didn’t.  I have spent the last hour or so looking up the latest stats and research. The news on the cancer front is mixed.
Here are a few stats that I’ll bring to your attention:

  • wcd2016_cancer_incidence_mortalityThe number of people living beyond a cancer diagnosis reached nearly 14.5 million in 2014 and is expected to rise to almost 19 million by 2024. In the U.S., cancer death rates have been dropping since the early 1990s. (Analysis: Research is creating treatments that are saving lives!)
  • Approximately 40% percent of men and women will be diagnosed with cancer at some point during their lifetimes. (Analysis: That is 2 out of every 5 people. Yikes!)
  • More than 60 percent of the world’s new cancer cases occur in Africa, Asia, and Central and South America; 70 percent of the world’s cancer deaths also occur in these regions. (Analysis: Our advances here in the U.S. have not yet been shared with the developing world. No surprise here.)

So more people are surviving and the death rate is dropping here in the USA. But not everyone is surviving. For many a cancer diagnosis is a death sentence. Sometimes within weeks or months. Sometimes it may take years. Either way, I believe that the diseases that we know as cancer as curable and that we can be part of the generation that made cancer a disease of the past, like small pox and polio for the generations that came before us. So on this World Cancer Day, give a hug to a survivor,  you probably know many, do something nice for someone in the midst of treatments, and consider supporting or donating to the research that will make the curing of cancer possible.

As I prepare for my 11th Pan-Mass Challenge, I think about our family friend who is going through cancer treatments, a teammate who recently had surgery to remove her latest cancer threat, and another teammate who lost a sibling to this disease. I won’t stop until the mission is accomplished – to end cancer. This is not a moonshot – ending cancer is a game-changer for all the generations to come. #itstimetoendcancer

All donations are welcome.

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Thank You!

1 Jan

13902807_10154444952459511_6091068958305581289_n2016 has been a big year.

As you know, in August, Andy rode in his 10th PMC. It has now been 20 years since he was originally diagnosed and 5 years since his recurrence.

Our Forza-G team of 60 cyclists raised $530,000 and the whole event raised A RECORD $47 million for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

We are truly closer to the end of cancer because each and every donation made. We are humbled by your steadfast support.

From our family to yours,

THANK YOU!2016pmc_bourne_fam

September 27 – my 5th #chemoisdone cancer-versery

27 Sep

Nearly all of us have these dates that are burned into our memory banks. The obvious ones are the days that we got married or the days our kids were born. Other days stick because of their historic significance. Some of these days are sad, as we mark the loss of a loved one. It is on these days when we often are perhaps our most contemplative and reflective. We try to understand where we have been and were we are going, and perhaps, if we are lucky, we can understand the path that we have followed.

Treatment 12

September 27, 2011 – Final chemo treatment. Living Proof again!

Today is one of these days for me. As I have mentioned in this space many times before…. the picture below shows me as I am getting ready to receive my 12th and final chemo treatment five years ago today. I have friends who celebrate their birthday today and know of a few couples who celebrate their anniversaries. But today, this day will always be one of reflection, mixed with happiness and remorse. As we move into this new era of not being actively monitored, obviously there is a joy of survival. But the memories of those who have passed from cancer, the images of the children that I saw each week while getting radiation 20 years ago, the conversations I had with fellow patients who were parents and grandparents – those are etched in my mind as well, a ongoing reminder that my mission to beat cancer did not end on this day five years ago, but that it had only just begun.

This year, as I have been sharing my 20th and 5th year anniversaries of my cancer treatments, I have received tremendous support, both emotionally and in terms of donations made to my PMC ride. Donors to my ride have been more generous than ever, contributing over $9,000 to the PMC and Dana Farber this year. And the PMC team that I am so proud to be on has also received unprecedented support this year, as we have already surpassed our team goal and eclipsed $500,000 in total donations brought in. But this PMC event, for me, is more than the money. There is a passion, a commitment, that is common among the PMC ridership that I cherish – we are all motivated to see the day when cancer is no longer the formidable foe that it has been for all of human existence. I share a bond with an even more select group of the ridership who have experienced cancer first hand and, this year, have had more interesting conversations with my fellow Living Proof riders than ever before. It is our shared desire and commitment towards this goal that pushes me onward.

There were days this summer, in the midst of training for the PMC, when I was questioning whether or not my tenth would be my last. Or if I should at least take a break. But then to be around the riders, the Living Proof, and my teammates for an entire weekend – those thoughts quickly were swept away, knowing that our work is not yet done. That work that I committed to be a part of when I left the oncology ward five years ago today – to end cancer in our lifetime. My part is small, to provide some motivation and inspiration to fund the research for the cures. But it is my part, my mission, my passion, my commitment.

I will end this ramble by sharing a quote I took from a speaker at a conference that has been guiding my vision for my #lifewithcancer moving forward – excited to see what comes of it:

“Do not spend you life trying to prove yourself. Spend your life trying to improve yourself”

Team Milestone Reached

23 Sep

Yesterday, Team Forza-G reached a milestone – $500,000 raised this year for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Pan Mass Challenge. Very proud of this achievement by our team of 62 riders. Thanks to all of you who have donated to my ride this year!

Five years later.

29 Aug

[guest post by Michele]

In the middle of Andy’s cancer treatment and for an untold duration thereafter, I desperately wished for someone to just tell me when it would probably be behind us.   I yearned for that singular powerful instant in which to say cancer is over and we had moved on, that one definitive celebration that represented freedom.  Its promise kept me going some days.

Little did I know that the disruptive intensity of cancer’s arrival would never be matched in its departure.  Like grief, healing has its own convoluted timeline with its fits and spurts, its painful lulls and setbacks.   Andy’s recovery as a patient, mine as a caregiver, and ours as a family were rarely if ever in sync.  Routine and observable milestones seemed entirely irrelevant to the process.  In truth, nothing about healing or recovery bore remote resemblance to the chronological time that had once appeared so steady.  This was wildly unsatisfying.

Some of you know that this experience prompted me to forgo time entirely for a bit.  It seemed so unreliable.  I began to form plans only at the last minute and grudgingly at that.  If pressed to advance plan, I always couched it as “probably” and “possibly”.  Every “commitment” had an exit strategy, many of which were executed.  Plans that went as planned were truly a surprise to me when they occurred.  On a birthday, I announced that I would age in reverse for a bit and I believe that I actually did.

Our latest observable moment is Andy’s release from oncology patient status.  Is this it?  Is this our moment?  He transitions from the discomfort of monitoring to the, albeit milder, discomfort of freedom and release of the safety net.   Pre-scan anticipation, “What if there’s something?  How much has it changed?  What if it is overmonitoring?” will be replaced with the occasional, “What if it returns?  How will we know?”  This is the very essence of #lifewithcancer.

To be clear, we have no complaints.  Far from it.  Our lives are more healed than ever before.  I recently made a haircut appointment weeks in advance and then actually showed up for it, a milestone that Andy instantly recognized.  We are intensely aware of surviving, of the luxury of recovery, because we know too many for whom clear scans and release from oncology patient status may well be unattainable.  But milestones beg reflection, and this is a truth rarely told.  Turning points of healing can be subtle, ill-defined and sometimes only seen in retrospect.  Most of ours were.  They require an insightful eye and an open heart.  Observable metrics like time are overly simplistic and leave much to be desired.  Yet we celebrate them nonetheless.

To all the open hearts that supported our recovery, and to all who continue to celebrate milestones with us –  both time-bound and less concrete – we remain so very thankful.

No Longer An Oncology Patient

28 Aug

Last Monday, August 22nd, I went to the cancer center for another set of bloodwork, a CT scan, and a follow-up with my oncologist. After that follow-up, I wrote this:

Usually, I hope to come back from these visits being called #boring. I’ve spent the week reflecting on this news – I knew it was a possibility and it is really great news. And I am slowly but surely getting used to the fact that the safety net of these follow-ups is no longer there. I am cautious though. And I will be vigilant. I have to be. I’ve already had one recurrence. And while you and I both want to think that Hodgkin’s won’t come back a third time, the fact of the matter is that is just a wish, a hope, a dream.

What I know today is

  • that I am still cancer free after five years,
  • that I am healthier physically and hopefully mentally than I have been in years,
  • that I have a strong support system around me,
  • that I am inspired and committed to do my part to rid the world of cancer,
  • that I am indebted to my wife and our daughter, our family, and our friends for all the love and support during these tumultuous days,
  • that cancer is beatable and I will advocate until my last days for the treatments to continue to improve so that a patient’s quality of life can be maximized
  • that I need to figure out what this whole ‘not being a cancer patient’ thing is all about
  • that my #lifewithcancer continues, because it has helped shaped my thinking, defined a purpose, and focused my passions.

In this space, in the very near future, I will share some stories from my 10th PMC, which was earlier this month.  It was a fantastic weekend for a bike ride. Til the next time…

Yours in life,

Andy

 

 

Consider Yourself Asked! Please make a donation

31 Jul

If you are reading this and you have made a donation to my ‪#‎pmc2016‬ ride across Massachusetts – again, I say thank you! If you have not made a donation yet, here’s the scoop. Next weekend, I am riding my bike 200 miles in 2 days as part of the Pan-Mass Challenge. We are raising money for cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. 100% of each donation is tax-deductible and will go to DFCI. Each dollar matters. I ride because I can – I am a two-time cancer survivor. The Dana-Farber is the research center that first found the treatments for Hodgkin s Lymphoma, which I battled. Our goal this year is to raise $46 million and we need some help.

I am asking you to make a donation today. Here’s the link:http://pmc.org/egifts/AS0171. It will take you a few moments. And it’s simple – your donation will save lives.

Please check out my blog for more stories about my cancer journey and my ride.

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