Sharing My Thoughts From National Cancer Survivors Day


Last Sunday was National Cancer Survivor Day. Every year, this day has become a day of reflection on what cancer has given me. Here is a list of all the special things and people that swirled in my mind this year. They are in no particular order.

  • 20 years of living with cancer
  • 2 specific days of devastation
  • many many days of uncertainty
  • at least 4 biopsies
  • 1 major surgery
  • 1 less organ (spleen)
  • 2 days of morphine induced haze after that sugery
  • 1 permanently damaged thyroid gland
  • 2 bone marrow biopsies that I would not wish upon anyone
  • 46 radiation treatments
  • 12 chemo treatments
  • over 40 CT scans
  • at least 8 PET scans
  • all the nurses and technicians and doctors and hospital staffers I have met in Rochester and Baltimore
  • months upon months of painfully slow recovery
  • weeks of wondering if chemo-brain was ever going to end
  • all of the family, friends and friends and family of friends who were taken to soon
  • going to the cancer center on my 43rd birthday for a follow-up visit
  • my favorite Harpooner and fellow survivor, Kathy
  • my mom
  • my aunt
  • both of my grandmothers
  • my grandfather
  • my dad
  • missing the PMC in 2011
  • all of the meals that my cycling team and our friends in Baltimore provided for us in 2011
  • the hundreds of cards that we received that summer
  • falling over on my bike trying to go up the Bellona Avenue hill on one of my first rides in 2012
  • finishing my first PMC in 2007
  • riding my bike on PMC Day at Fenway with 29 other survivors to commemorate the PMC’s 30th ride
  • finishing the PMC in 2013
  • being able to up my Pan-Mass Challenge from 2 days and 200 miles to 3 days and 300 miles the last couple of years with some of my teammates
  • how one of my teammates almost took me out last year on that extra day
  • $66,825.14: total amount that my friends, family, and acquaintances have donated in my name since 2007
  • Betsy, Suzanne, Diane, Carie and all of the Living Proof riders and volunteers that I share a toast with each August
  • the family that is going to have a devastating day tomorrow
  • my three friends this year who have started down their own journey with cancer
  • my family who has been through cancer too many times
  • my team, Forza-G
  • my Decker family
  • how I hope beyond hope that our Shannon will live in a world without cancer.
  • wondering if my lymph nodes will ever decide to be boring again
  • the mental and physical release that cycling has come to provide to me
  • everything that Michele and I have been through in the recent years
  • how truly lucky I am…
  • and fortunate…
  • and grateful
  • and COMMITTED.
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