Follow-up Scans Today


Ah, Monday morning, it’s always fun, isn’t it? How was your morning commute? What is on your schedule today? A conference call or a staff meeting? Catching up on some email? That’s not exactly what I have going on today.

8:00 AM – Phelobotomy (that means blood work)

8:30 AM – CT Scan

10:30 AM – Meet with Oncologist to review results

11:00 AM – either go get breakfast or prepare for round 3.

That’s pretty much the “normal” Life with Cancer follow-up day. It is just like any other day, which means in Baltimore that it is HOT, except that you can find out that your cancer is back. Yup, just another day (eh, right).

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That being said, I made a commitment to myself that this year, I was not going to get too stressed out about followups. I have to get them every 3 months for the next 5 years (done this before). The odds that cancer will come back this year are lower than next year, cause my body just got ‘cleaned’ out only months ago, thanks to chemo. But frankly, I am not so sure about those odds. These are the same odds and probabilities that said that after being cancer-free for 5 years, I would not get Hodgkins Lymphoma again, that I was cured. How’d that turn out?

To hell with the odds! I am going to get breakfast at 11 AM today. I’ll post on my Twitter/Facebook to confirm.

Have a great day!

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UPDATE: 1:00 PM 7/16/12

I skipped breakfast and went straight to lunch!  Final report was “no significant changes”. Next followup will be in October.

 

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3 thoughts on “Follow-up Scans Today

  1. Hope it was a great lunch after good news for this three months. Catherine of Quail and all the Prayer Ladies are pulling for you also.

  2. The funny thing about these types of tests in that the only thing that changes it what you know. Either you have cancer or your don’t – the only difference is after the test, you know one way or the other. I had two skin cancer “scares” this winter and I thought about this when I was going over in my mind all the fears and the “what ifs.” I acknowledged the fear and then finally let it wash over me, since how I handled the emotion was the only part I over which I had any control. I am delighted to hear there are “no significant changes” and I hope you had a fabulous lunch. And I am glad these tests are causing you less stress. Personally, I like to reward myself after such things – kind of like getting a lollypop when I had to get shots as a kid, I suppose 😉

    I was thinking about what you wrote about your chances of getting cancer again, and what actually came to mind is: “wow, better get busy living!” The silver lining of such ever-present reminders of mortality as living with cancer, it seems to me in my slightly angled mindset, is one can use this knowledge to force a clear appreciation of the present. I know for me so much of my life has been spent agonizing over the past or fearful go the future. In my worry and fear I make my life smaller and smaller until I can be overwhelmed and paralyzed by that over which I have no control. Being present in the moment, fully experiencing the sheer awesome beauty and power of being alive right now in this moment and being fortunate enough to have health and love and comfort and beauty in my life — the more I let go of fear, the more it seems I can let go of that over which I have no control and zero in on what really matters to me and what I can control, which is how and what I chose right now this minute, this second. And in this moment and this second as I breath fully and am sometimes overwhelmed by all it means to be ALIVE I feel my universe expand and my life become infinite in a way that is sometimes painful in that I am so used to being caught up in minutia that I forget the magnitude of possibility in life.

    The truth of human existence is that we all die. The phrase “saved your life” is such a misnomer, since what it really means is “put off death until a later date.” The most truth most of us can say about death is that, to the best of our knowledge, we are not dead right now. Life has no promises except that we all have an expiration date, just that most of us spend most of our lives ignoring this and letting time fritter by like we have have an infinite amount of time and as if time were not the most precious of all commodities. It seems to me that the possible gift of touching death, whether by cancer or some other means, is that you get a reminder that our lives are not infinite. Like many gifts, this is a many-edged sword, and some of the edges can cut to the bone and to the heart. But beyond the pain there is potential for the infinite (in my humble opinion lol)

    I hold my son sometimes and force myself to be truly present. I feel his warm little body in my arms, I hear and feels his heart, his breath, the energy coursing through his entire being. I smell him, that scent that is just his, my little baby who is growing up so fast. I listen to the flow of words, thought, ideas, changes of direction, emotion, LIFE that pours out of him and for a moment I stop worrying about what happened before or what could happen next and I just enjoy this moment to be with this little being I love so much and who loves me and feel the blessing of everything this means. And then, of course, especially with a four-year-old, the moment is gone. But in that moment, is a whole lifetime.

    Anyway, hope this does not sound too preachy or anything. But this was what came to mind when I read your latest post 😉

    As my grandmother would say, “consider yourself hugged.”

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