It has been 10 days since we took this photo during the 6th of my 12 chemo treatments.
This sixth treatment means that I am now halfway done with chemo treatments. And I have come to a conclusion, one that you probably share.
Hopefully that comes through loud and clear. It changes your life. And the life of your family. In drastic and numerous ways. Sure, I can manage many of the side effects. Sure, I had a good scan and my immediate prognosis is good. Sure, I have amazing love and support from my family and friends. But cancer has meant that our lives have had to go on hold so I can undertake this battle. And right now, today, 4 months to the day after I found the lump in my groin that forced all of this to start, I am tired of the roller coaster, tired of not being able to live my life the way I would, tired of the effect it has had on my family, and tired of being bored.
What I have come to realize is that the last treatment will not mean I get to resume my life full-tilt. It will take me six months to a year to get my energy back. The scans, blood work, and tests will continue for years. I will be dealing with side effects for months, some even for years perhaps. The stress and complications that this has put on us has changed our lives forever.
Yes, I have good days, days with good energy, a smile, and a skip in my step. Except, right after I skip, I have to lay down and rest. Even on the best days. Many times, I am very positive on this blog, looking forward, and trying to promote the PMC mission. Today, for whatever reason, I felt the need to vent a little, to let everyone know that this is not easy, it is not truly halfway over, and that cancer is hard, stressful, and impactful. I thank you for reading and your for your continued support. Please know that I am well and have had a fairly healthy week.
Next chemo is #7, this Tuesday, July 19. Til then.